After spending my prime 20’s in America, lately I have been challenged by my “self”
and others that question my “agreed upon” value system. The question is, when did I
agree? to what? My parents, friends and relatives always consider living within
societal norms. Let me just handle one aspect of the norm – the concept of
“everyone does it (EDI), why not you?”

A sense of panic is always surrounding me because I am 30 and not married, most of my
friends have kids (by marriage :-) ) but not me and most of all they don’t question
the base concept of EDI. The EDI syndrome also exists in other countries,
but its not on the far end of the spectrum.

How is all this connected to my trip? Yesterday we went to “Thiruvidanthai”
- One of the 108 important places of vaishnavites, this small hamlet houses the
temple of Nithyakalyana perumal. The third incarnation of Mahavishnu
is in the form of a boar called “Varaha” where he married 360 girls – one a day.
So I walked around the temple with a garland and I hope that I get married soon. So
did a 30 odd people who walked around with me. I tried to see if some girl
who walked around the temple had their eyes open for current opportunities
but they all had their chin tucked, another agreed upon norm.
I wish I can turn my history books and identify the real reason behind this
incarnation. So much had been written, none convincing my “self”.

Caught between high parental expectations in terms of
marriage achievement(:-) a milestone), and pressures exerted to conform to the
existing societal norms, my individuality seems to be at loss. The EDI syndrome is
my true enemy. There is “unity in diversity” in India, but with a whole new added
dimension to it. Though I am agitated and throw “tumblers and tantrums” at people
with EDI syndrome, thanks to the true India value system of “yoga and meditation”,
the “self” is the only place I find true happiness and everything else is a distraction.

Mom’s reaction to my “tumblers and tantrums”